The Cabin in the Woods Explained — It’s a Giant Metaphor

Perhaps a better title: The Cabin in the Air?

This movie should be required. For everyone. Not only is it brilliant, but it’s the only film I’ve ever seen that alters your perception of all other films. It’s funny. It’s scary. It’s clever. And the whole thing is, as the title of this review suggests, one giant metaphor.

Go see it right now. I don’t care if you don’t watch horror movies. I don’t watch them either. I had to leave a party once because Final Destination was on and I got too scared. Final Destination of all things. You can handle The Cabin in the Woods. I promise.

And you have to see it right now because it’s impossible for me to discuss it without spoiling it. So be warned. Beyond this point, there be SPOILERS.

The basic premise for this movie is the most clichéd of all premises. Five friends (the jock, the dumb blonde, the stoner, the “virgin,” and the intelligent dude) decide to take an RV to a cabin in the woods for a weekend getaway, but they don’t expect the horrors that await them. What horrors, you wonder? Well that depends on what object they pick up in the mysterious basement.

This isn’t your average horror movie. You see, imprisoned beneath the earth are the old gods, the demons that used to walk the land, bringing death and destruction. The only thing that keeps them trapped are the ritual sacrifices that we provide. But sheep’s blood and virgins tossed into volcanoes don’t cut it anymore. The gods have grown bored by such things and demand not only the sacrifice, but also a show.

That’s where the secret underground operations center comes in. An advanced and elaborate facility, it is up to the many technicians to create the ultimate performance. They must lure unsuspecting youths out to a cabin in the woods, then pump in the proper pheromones to cause them to make bad choices, and, finally, they must unleash the monsters that will murder said youths a graphic display of violence. If successful, the blood of the fallen 20-somethings will drain into the sacrifice chamber, the old gods will be appeased, and life, as we know it, will continue.

Throughout this film, we flash back and forth between the stereotypical horror movie plot and the facility. The dramatic irony involved in these jumps makes the whole movie fun. Sure, those poor kids are being gruesomely murdered by a family of zombies, but everyone at the facility is so desensitized that they’re getting a kick out of it, even betting on which monsters will slaughter everyone this round.

Gotta bring a cooler to the horrible, graphic, slaughter.

What makes this movie so wonderfully amazingly super fantastic is the metaphor. Don’t you get it? The old gods, that’s us! We used to be satisfied by simple plotlines (girl in a volcano), by a song and a dance, but no longer. We have developed discerning tastes, desensitized by decades of cinema. We watch horror movie after horror movie titillated by the death scenes.

The workers in the facility are the moviemakers. They know they have to appease the old gods, i.e. their audience, and if they fail, their world ends. If their movie isn’t entertaining enough, it will flop, and the old gods will write nasty reviews and complain about it on the internet, and the people in the facility will lose their jobs, which to them is equivalent to losing their lives. When they bet on which monster will kill them all this time, they’re wondering what new horror will rake in the most cash. And they’re just like us, to some degree. They get excited when they hear about a new plotline. When the creepy old men zoom in on the couple about to have sex, when they root for the girl to take off her clothes, that’s every male member of the audience secretly hoping for a shot of some boobies.

Best way to see boobs? One-way mirror, of course!

The poor kids in the cabin? Their plotline is the actual movie. It’s standard. It’s cliché. The actors go through the motions that the moviemakers force them to. Writers plan out a film. Those are the workers in the facility who build the cabin, who place the evil objects in the basement. Directors are the people in the facility who run the show in real time, summoning monsters, releasing pheromones, and collapsing tunnels. I mean, the head of the facility was even called “The Director.” The kids in the cabin are the actors. They have no free will, but are puppets on strings, tugged this way and that by the script and the director and everything that’s been set in motion. They perform for our entertainment.

Watching this movie is a life-changing experience. Not only is it entertaining, but it explains every other movie. Any time you ever noticed an inconsistency or witnessed a character making a stupid decision and thought “why on earth would they split up?” you now know the explanation. This movie fixes every problem in every film. We can assume that there was a facility controlling the actions of every character in anything we’ve ever seen, and because of that, we can’t fault the characters for their actions.

This is how you used to feel after watching a character decide to go down into the basement alone, but no longer!

And there was a facility in all those movies, wasn’t there? A director, a writer, trying to solve some problem with the story. Sometimes they do a good job. Sometimes we’re appeased. Other times they make The Last Airbender.

The Cabin in the Woods is primarily a comedy, mostly because it’s constantly poking fun at these conventions. When beautiful man Chris Hemsworth says they should stick together and defend themselves, the facility pumps in some stupidity in gaseous form and he changes his plan. When they’re trapped by a giant chasm and someone says, “What are we supposed to do? Jump?!” you get that classic movie moment. Hemsworth hears the word jump and gains a flash of inspiration. He pulls the motorcycle off the back of the RV and gives an inspiring speech. He’ll come back for them. He’ll come back with an army and save everyone. It’s a scene you’ve witnessed time and again, but this time it’s hilarious because the movie is pointing out the trope.

And even though I’ve already given plenty away, let me just say without ruining it that this movie has an absolutely amazing climax. I did not see it coming, and when it did, I was unthinkably happy.

The Cabin in the Woods is the epitome of meta cinema. The movie itself contains three separate layers, 4th walls within 4th walls, and once you understand the metaphor, even deeper layers are created. In just the same way that Dollhouse was a commentary on television, this is a commentary on film. It’s a lot like Inception, really, but instead of dream architects being sci-fi moviemakers, members of the facility are horror moviemakers.

The point of all this is that The Cabin in the Woods is a brilliant film. Anyone who loves movies must see it, especially if you’re a horror buff. In fact, I’m gonna go see it again right now.

Score:

Alignment:

How great was the title card at the beginning? The most mundane scene ever and then in bloody red letters “The Cabin in the Woods!” with accompanying horror screech and everything. I couldn’t stop laughing.

And any Topher fans will love watching the greatest Dollhouse character get to play a major movie role.

Plus, who wouldn’t be stoked about seeing one of the Yellow Rangers naked.

94 Comments

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94 responses to “The Cabin in the Woods Explained — It’s a Giant Metaphor

  1. Reblogged this on yunyunexdinary and commented:
    Add your thoughts here… (optional)

    • Anonymous

      Movie was mad lame

      • I absolutely see the metaphor. I also see a monetary metaphor with different levels of Government with the Gods being the Monetary system. Creatures are the monsters Government created People on the phone were Billionaires running the system. People in control room was government and so on and so on. I do like your s

  2. Pingback: Something Big | Reasonably Ludicrous

  3. I loved it too, much to my surprise. I don’t usually enjoy horror movies, but recommendations from friends got me to go see it. I am glad you liked it too. Did you know its release was delayed for two years, which is why Chris looks so much younger than he did in “Thor”?

  4. Question? Why did the japanese people have the chance to get rid of the ghost thing, but the group have no chance of eliminating the zombies. Another question, on the computer screens when it said failed, was it because the Gods were bored? Or because they got rid of their chosen evil. Furthermore, when you guys watched the movie… around the last 10 minutes was there a static sound when they were explaining the whole movie. If not i am outraged … i feel missed key points. Finally, if you took the time to read all of this, i congratulate you and applaud you. Please reply. ASAP :p

    • Welcome, George! Here are my thoughts: I think the group did have a chance of eliminating the zombies. The people in the facility simply said they had no chance because no one had ever done it before. The zombies have a 100% successful kill rate. And the failed thing confused me too at first, but I think you’ve got it right. It’s because the Gods were bored and the ritual itself failed; not because a group failed.

      And luckily I didn’t have any static. Woohoo!

      • lmk1986

        Your reviewer guy came back and made an update that said the movie was brilliant…just sayin

      • Briana Martz

        Now, correct me if I wrong, but I sensed a sort of cultural competition in regards to the Japanese school children and the American teens. It seemed to me that the movie poked fun at the stereotypical Asian intelligence that surpasses America. In the American scenario, the teenagers scream, run, and take their clothes off, while the Japanese school children invent a method of releasing the evil. Perhaps I am reaching too far for connections, but it seemed to me that this point symbolized sheer American ignorance. Any thoughts?

      • Marc

        the ‘FAILED’ was because that regions facility failed, just like the japanese did, by the sacrifices defeating the monsters. Excellent essay, by the way. and dead on. Joss Whedon remarked a while back that this film was a criticism of the current trend of torture porn.

  5. That review makes no sense and its not accurate. The movie was not about a movie studio, none of that is true. It was not a movie company behind all the madness. The movie was stupid, had a stupid ending and made no sense…
    I trust the Reviewer on rotten tomatoes, he knows horror he knows every genre really and he even said it was stupid read it
    http://www.rottentomatoes.com/member/TheReviewer

    • met-a-phor: (noun) the application of a word or phrase to an object or concept it does not literally denote, suggesting comparison to that object or concept.

    • Anonymous

      Oh, sweetie…you’re one of the special people aren’t you? Bless your heart!

    • Anonymous

      While the mpvie is excellent. I did expect some people to be too stupid to understand.

    • anonymus

      The movie was excellent, and you are too dumb to understand a methapor or are a troll. Now shut up.

      • Anonymous

        HueJackson, the writer of this reviews intelligence level is that of the man who survived at the end, and you are the dumb blonde who got banged and murdered right away. Do not put down someones review out of ignorance, this was a great review and your a straight up loser, good bye and dont come back.

      • Anonymous

        Crap film

    • ned

      This is what some call SEO 🙂

    • Anonymous

      Hey guess what. Your favorite reviewer changed his mind. Did your opinion change all of a sudden too?

    • Marc

      its not to be taken literally. its a subtext to the film. Josh Whedon has already said this. filmmakers make subtle commentary by writing about one thing, but making it comparable to something else, usually some current political thing. like how Avatar is about earth drilling on another planet, but its subtext is about the US drilling for oil in the Middle East. or like how ‘invasion of the body snatchers’ was about aliens, but the aliens were a subtext for communism. Cabin in the woods is about ancient gods with a growing bloodlust, but the subtext is about horror fans with a growing bloodlust. .

    • Mykayla Sunshine

      @huejackson: Just because someone says a movie is stupid…. Does not necessarily MEAN that it is stupid.
      Oh hey, the sky is f@$*ing orange, because I say it is! A review is simply a review. Someone’s OPINION. And in MY opinion, this movie is BOSS. Maybe you didn’t quite understand Russ Nickel’s review? Because it is EXACTLY the way that he explains it.. THAT is a fact. Not an opinion.

  6. Occasionally I’ll watch a film on and off in the background while doing other things – this was one of them and I spent a lot of time simply asking, ‘wtf is happening now?!’ – thanks for clearing things up, I wouldn’t call it a spoiler really, it can still be enjoyed after reading this page.

    • What I love – and I haven’t seen anyone else pick up on – is the subversion of the title of Thoreau’s “Cabin in the Woods” at Walden, Massachusetts, by which he meant a place of safety and private thought, away from society.

    • Bros

      Trust me, this article only lets you see the tip of the iceburg.

  7. I think you got a little bit too deep into it, but I loved the review anyways! Some points I also got after I finished watching the movie, others I got from your review! I think there’s way more to identify with the movie, I love these movies that get me thinking even after they’re done. Thanks for the review!

  8. Bros

    Good article, but I think you’re a little confused about the underlying plot details.
    We’re not the old gods (saying so is pretentious and foolish), it’s not a metaphor for Hollywood life and death. Didn’t you notice the person wearing the pentagram? He kissed it when the first sacrifice was made. The Pentagram wouldn’t have been there if your translation of the movie was correct.

    – Five friends (the jock, the dumb blonde, the stoner, the “virgin,” and the intelligent dude). This is not a metaphor for cheap old movie plots. Don’t these 5 people oddly remind you of some supertitious Tarrot card deck you used to play with for fun?

    The author of this article only managed to get past the first 2 4th wall layers (underlying symbolism) of the film. There’s 2 more 4th walls to pierce through, much of it has to do with real life occult orders, notice how the actors constantly yell out, “Out of darkness, light!” The movie is very much like “Eyes Wide Shut”, which is a movie exposing the behavior of elitists and the power of paganism. We’re living in a dream, ladies and gentlemen. There’s a conglomerate force that makes the Wizard of Oz look like an amateur with his tricks from behind the curtain.

    • Anonymous

      It wasn’t a pentagram that he kissed, a pentagram is a 5 pointed star in a circle. The symbol he kissed was like a hexagon and was the symbol on the floor in the final scenes.

      Nice idea about the Tarot deck, which card would the harlot be? Unless you’re thinking of her a prom queen?

      I think the idea of it being about being about the film industry is an interesting one, it’s true that we become harder to please and society is def desensitised, we expect everything to be better, bigger, brighter and done quicker, I’d never thought of it like that but I like the idea.

      I just took the film as it was presented to us that the bad guys in the facility do what they have to do to save the planet and society I think the most interesting thing in the film is the decision made by the two remaining characters at the end I think if they had decided to sacrifice themselves we wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much.

    • Fledder

      Thinking that your interpretation is better than others is wrong. Unless, until the producers don’t say the same like you. 🙂

  9. K9therider

    This show was a bunch of sh@t. And all your theology and deep thoughts make you sound even more uneducated. Enjoy your night.

  10. Anonymous

    Huh… Reminded me of the Hungar Games…

  11. Dan Reardon

    Why does it say the ritual needs 5 friends when there was loads of chinese children it doesnt add up???

  12. Charlie P

    For everyone saying that this review is a bunch of bollocks, shut up. It’s one persons opinion which makes sense. Just because you don’t see it the same way as the author, does not mean that that way is wrong. If you thought that the film was s***, it wasn’t made to be serious. It was meant to be quirky. But of course not everyone likes quirky. I think that when the author of this review said that the film is funny, scary and clever, the nail was hit on the head. If the film wasn’t written the way it was with such an odd turn of events, then it would be just like your generic zombie movie (I.e. friends go away, zombies attack, they all die). Please don’t be judgemental about the review. As I said before, it is one persons opinion, and everyone is entitled to there own opinion.

  13. Na

    They had a whole army, why send one guy to shoot the stoner ?

    • Anonymous

      They didn’t realize they needed an army to kill the stoner and a girl. The one guy was the security guard that was in the office watching the elevators.

  14. Your review completely ratifies how fucking incompetent you are. You’re reading to deep into the material. We’re the old gods? How the fuck did you deduce that from human sacrifices? If I can recollect, when the Canaanites were sacrificing their newborns to the universe there were no directors or puppet masters tugging at their strings

    • The Bible is a book of fiction Jack; it’s kind of like fairytales, but instead of fun for children, the Bible is specially constructed for really really dumb people who we call “Christians” in our society.

      • Anonymous

        Why do you find it acceptable to disrespect an entire religion and/or people group? It’s cool if you don’t believe in the Bible, but calling someone “really really dumb” because they do is not only intolerant, but it’s also uncivil. This forum was about a movie review, and not a place for hate.

      • remember also that religion / gods / demons / fantasy are at the heart of this movie, so it’s useful to discuss the ‘Fart’ that is religion and how evil the scum were that invented things as evil and disgusting as Christianity.

      • > Why do you find it acceptable to disrespect an entire religion and/or people group?

        because the Bible is a book of hate constructed to to indoctrinate and control mindless fools. it is VERY effective at it’s job, but this does not mean it should be “respected”. it should in fact be DIS-respected at all times, and with vigour !

        Christians are really really dumb. I say that with pity and with hope. every Christian that puts the dots together, and realises that the lies they’ve been fed (that they will burn forever in hell, that gays are an “abomination” that must be put to death, that a woman who is not a virgin before marriage must be put to death. by the way, that’s PUT TO DEATH, for daring to lose viriginity before marriage. it’s ok for men though, who are perfectly allowed to rape 12 year old girls, that’s ok by god) don’t need to control them, then the world grows stronger. All religions are equally dumb, and thankfully god is not real, as that is by far the most disgusting and filthly creation in all of fiction.

        Jack mentioned the Caananites, so I pointed out a simple truth about those lies that have lead to such high-points in history as burning women alive at the stake (possibly the most horrible torture imaginable) for the crime of living peacefully alone with a few cats, or shoving large spikes up peoples bums for the crime of not believing in god. truly religion is the most dumb and evil invention of our silly human brains. although it’s standard evolution for the human brain to invent gods, the evil part was the people that invented the bible and the other religions to control dumb sheep. I don’t just dis Christians (actually, am I dissing them, or giving them hope ? every Christian that wakes up from the delusion of the Bible fairytale means a little light just went on in the universe. if enough lights go on, humans might evolve beyond pathetic religions don’t you think. let’s all hold hands and hope for the death of religion, yay ! :-p

        i’m confused though: what exactly do you have a problem with in what I said ? it is dumb and pathetic for adults to believe in fairytales don’t you agree ? do you believe in Santa Claus ? if you do, then you are dumb. do you believe in Thor ? if you do then you are dumb. do you believe in God ? if you do you are retarded. do you think that god (or santa claus maybe ?) will strike me down with lightning for saying this ?

      • Everybody has their beliefs and their own “takes” on religion. I don’t know who you THINK you are that you think it’s ok to go to a MOVIE REVIEW forum and start badmouthing religion and people’s beliefs. In a way believing in Santa Claus as a kid and believing in (a) God are kind of the same thing, so I’ll use believing in Santa Claus as an example. Do you remember ever believing in Santa Claus? If so, do you remember your joy on Christmas morning when you saw that Santa left presents for you? But as you got older and you stopped believing, christmas turned into a less fun experience. God is the same way. God can bring so much joy and strength in our lives. People have things such as religion so people have SOMEONE TO BELIEVE in. Someone who they can talk to when times get rough. Sometimes talking to your family/friends isn’t enough. And by you going on this forum just to post this tells me that you are a VERY unhappy person. Maybe YOU need some religion in your life.

      • Tylor

        You guys make me laugh, you do realize that the Bible is the oldest piece of historical record out there and that if you actually took the time to read it, you would see it has less continuity errors then this movie, not a blow at the movie, I loved it. One of my favorites. Also the theory of the us being the antagonist was great too. However to all the idiots out there who have closed themselves off from religion because of the viewpoints of that of the ten percent. Yeah, only ten percent of the world does not believe in religion. Yes there are many different religions out there, and yes some of them are ridiculous however. Can you honestly tell me that you have met an actual religious person who has gone out of there way to offend you or hurt you? Most religions strive to be peaceful and prefer not to retaliate. You denounce them everyday screaming in their face they are wrong? Most religions have their proof, the Bible. That book that coincides with archeological evidence today. Who’s to say there is a god? You don’t have that right, or that proof to say one doesn’t exist. So next time before you see the need to hate on someone’s forum comment, I want you to think to yourself. Is it worth it? Then you will know why god didn’t strike you with lightning, you just aren’t worth it.

  15. Amazing. I wonder if there’s a place on the internet where intelligent people can come together to discuss something without 30 complete imbeciles and 10 conspiracy theory loons joining in to contribute their 0 cents? Every time, on every forum, right before I’m about to ask my question about the movie I take 5 minutes to read the pearls left behind, and voila, stupidity galore.
    I give up.

  16. Anonymous

    then maybe it’s time that you should stop visiting forums
    then nobody can bother you and you can’t bother US!!!!
    BITCH

  17. Banji is a chicken nugget (banji is a weirdo)

  18. Marie

    I think I should try to clear up some things, or how I saw it, at least, about the movie. A lot of people are asking about why the japan failed. It’s simple. Every culture has a different ritual the have to hold. For America, it was the ritual we saw the whole movie. However, for japan, their ritual was to kill twenty innocent souls. Now, here’s where it gets kind of tricky. In the footage from japan, you saw the little girls come together and destroy the monster, and it read ‘Fail’ across the screen. That does not mean that the Gods weren’t entertained-it meant that japan failed to perform their ritual, because twenty innocent souls did not die. In the beginning of the movie, you hear the two main lab workers talk about how ‘Psh, Japan always wins, we’re always in second. Japan never loses!’ and they talk about how they want to beat them this year. By that, it simply means that there are different cultures all over the world who have to do their own ritual. A lot of the cultures (as we later saw with America) failed to complete their ritual. But japan always completes there’s, which explains what the lab workers said by, ‘Japan always wins’. But when japan failed this year, you could see it in the workers face. They realized that Japan, and every other culture, had failed, so it was up to the Americans to complete their ritual, or the world would end. At least, that’s how I saw it. Also, to the individual who said, ‘How come japan could destroy the ghost and not die, but the Americans didn’t have that chance?” Sure, the Americans could have killed the zombies, but that’s not how they would have all lived. I think of it like this-every item in the basement represented some kind of monster. The ballarina monster was the music box, the wolf face was the killer wolf, and the diary was the zombie family. In the movie, the director focused on all of them picking up objects-The jock almost blew the shell, which would have summoned the murman, and so on and so forth. But the virgin started reading the diary of the zombie family, so that was the monster summoned. Now, think about it-if they didn’t touch anything, or didn’t look too into the objects, NOTHING would have been summoned. They would have lived, because they didn’t pick up and screw around with an object linked to a monster. As the phrase goes-curiosity killed the cat. So yes, they DID have a way to win. They have to have a way, or the Gods would feel like they weren’t choosing their own death. This is my thoughts on the movie.
    Just a nineteen year old girl who likes to understand things, hope mine makes sense:)

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  20. Good interpretation, but you say the kids in the cabin have no free will – it was clearly stated in the movie that the simulation would NOT work unless the kids were allowed to use free will. (maybe the gods would not be satisfied otherwise) As one of the directors said, “we just get them into the cellar – they have to decide to (unknowingly) summon one of the creatures.” All the directors did was blow open the cellar door – it was free will & curiosity that drew the kids into the cellar… As Marie said below, the teens could have won by not going into the cellar and not summoning any of the creatures.

    • Anonymous

      If you watch the movie again, you’ll see that one of the kids came to their senses and came up with a smart idea (that would help them live) and then the directors set off a gas through the vents that made the kid change their mind. So the WAY that they chose their death they had free will on, but they were being controlled to make stupid decisions – that would in the end cause their death.

  21. Ailey

    Though it’s completely possible that underlying concepts about the movie world is left out there, do you all really think it’s ‘deep’? It was an idea created by a bunch of filmmakers, for goodness sakes, and though filmmakers by themselves are genius, I do suppose that the producers who are actually using their own money to get money would rather focus on what the public really wants: gore and sex, not deep, intellectual ideas about humans and so forth. I think they just want something to screw around with our minds, like “is there really a deeper message? Or am I just overthinking things?” sort of way. And though this review was interesting, if there was a deeper message I would think that it would be more in-depth than this, rather than such shallow and unsupported ideas.

  22. Pop warrior

    Sometimes I poop in my hands and clap. Feels nice

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  24. Loki

    The Japanese remembered they were kids, they stuck together and they had fun while doing what they had to do. The Americans took it too seriously, got scared and split up. That’s how zombies get you. The director was hidden, but we suspected a will lurking in the shadows, pulling the strings. We didn’t expect her to be the most intelligent and knowledgeable. Unfortunate that she believed the sacrifice of youth was required for her quest, but she seemed like someone who just cared about power with any excuse. I believe that if the director’s facility had never been installed in there to begin with, then the ancient gods would have remained in slumber aside from occasional outbursts that would be quickly quelled. But such experiments are forbidden.

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  29. Anonymous

    This is straight garbage, if you like this, you’ll watch anything…..think guys, All I have to say is 60 foot Cobra? WTF what does that have to do with anything and not only that, the snake is smart enough to know not to kill the other beings………..so we have mythical with zombies and giant snake and flying creature WTH man….based on sacrifices…OMG then an giant electronic force field….The government doesn’t even have an electronic force field by which planes or birds can run into this invisible force field and become toast….all for the sake of killing 5 people….dang just catch 5 people and take them just do the sacrifice…that would be like going Quail hunting with a Rocket Launcher or scud missile-STUPID. Who wrote this garbage….? It would have been better to have the cabin change rooms or actually become found to be larger in terms of space, in the inside than from the outside with secret rooms. And make it an old throwback slasher flick, yet making it good….I write , that it makes me this or that, but guys when you write you must have a logical concept and don’t write from ideas that you think are great or scene and then try to bridge the scenes using a by any means necessary method…..it make your books or movies STUPID, because ones whom read or movie watchers totally notice this and you can tell you can’t write and make a story fluid. And please make sure the concept is logical it must make sense…..it doesn’t have to be realistic, if it makes sense and be a fluid story…For example, In Hunger Games I (because two was poorly written) but anyways, the first one Ok they had a force field and all, but at least this entire concept was stipulated by the Gov’t themselves-it was a practice a ritual a game whatever you want to call it, but the Gov’t more so had this force field in play when they put the players in the fields. But this film a group of occultist has this force field…Now, the Gov’t doesn’t even have anything like this in real life first of all and knowing this, how would occultist have it but the Gov’t doesn’t. In Hunger Games 1 at least the Gov’t or Republic has this technology-though no realistic at all….at least it makes sense that if anyone would have it.. The would have it. Hopefully that makes sense to you.
    If you don’t believe me, write a story and let others read it-trust me you will have feedback in which many will be saying “WTF ! Your story is ridiculous and stupid dude”. Zombies and crap: explosions, robots, monsters are nothing…YOU MUST HAVE A GREAT STORYLINE……and Concept.

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  52. JJ

    ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG

  53. Anonymous

    It was not that good, and the author is making more out of it, than it is.

  54. aaaaa

    It’s just a stupid parody film dude, nothing special in this yet another parody thing. Why so impressed by this lame

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  57. kv

    watched the film. Thought it would be some secret society (similar to Hostel) getting kicks out of watching them die, but she wasn’t a virgin so how could that appease the gods? Anyway, it was a different look at dumb movies – but i think the old gods in this interpretation would be the movie executives rather than the people that go to watch it as they’re the ones that sign off the same damn thing over and over to make sure they get as much at the box office as they can.

    • kv

      also, further on the executives points – remember one point in the movie where they’re betting and the new guy says “wtf?” and they say that the people UPSTAIRS don’t care what we do as long as they get results

  58. Left so many questions unanswered, I get the parallel between classic horror movies and the people who direct them. However if I’m honest there were too many loose ends to enjoy it, where the fuck did they get all those mythical creatures from, the old gods needs are flimsy as fuck, how did thor survive that brutal stabbing, how the hell does nobody know about the gods apart from that weird institution, why do they not rule the planet still? It may have been a satire of classic horror but it failed on many levels. Shite film if you ask me, this reviewer is obviously smoking stuff way stronger than the stoner in the film.

  59. Anonymous

    Makes no sense what so ever silly at best

  60. Anonymous

    Ok guys. I just watched the movie, and I just finished reading the entire comment log. It’s interesting to see what people’s takes on the movie are. It’s not interesting to see people bash each other for no reason. It’s also uninteresting to see half of the comments being either completely off topic or completely unreadable… but without links. So that makes me think that someone in the admin for this blog is literally just writing filler comments and posting anonymously to boost the comment count. That being said, I’d like to put in my 2 nickels. (Tell me you got the joke, please)

    I feel the need to lay some groundwork in order to make much sense and not come off as a conspiracy buff or a religious nut. So bear with me.

    First off, I’d like to just throw out the idea of film. Film has been used by many people for many reasons since its integration into the global market. The film market emerged as a new expression of artistry. You could make a photograph move! That meant that you could put a lot more intention into your work than before. But, if you look at painting, literature, photography, plays, and music before movies, they were vary rarely ‘just entertainment’. Most often, the point of the piece was political, religious or philosophical. And always to influence. Which is why they make great pieces. The great musical piece, The Messiah by Handel was a fantastic work invoking emotion and deep thought about the travesty of failing to convert to Protestantism over the oppressive Catholic Church. You can now take that same power and put it in film and the influence is exponentially increased. You don’t have to look too deeply into the history of film to see that film is and has always been the centerpiece for social influence in the 20th century. Call it what you will; film genius, creative expression, propaganda… It doesn’t matter. The effect and intention are all the same. If someone makes a mover(the old term for a ‘movie’) they intend that the audience is moved, influenced, effected, provoked or otherwise changed by the content.

    Now, let’s not forget history. The most successful film of all time was created by the 3rd Reich. That film moved the majority of an entire continent toward the hatred and slaughter of millions. It also effectively distracted from other world events of the time… like the 40 million Chinese killed in that same decade by mass famine. I would rather avoid getting into such deep ideas such as the holocaust, but it seems lost on most reading this article that movie makers put things in movies that are a subtext to the actual storyline presented.

    Yes of course, there are hundreds of movies, maybe even thousands, that have absolutely zero thought behind them…. a couple friends get some money together and make a crappy movie. Sure. Of course. But you all really think that a team of roughly 500 people didn’t sneak anything extra into that movie? Everyone wants to leave their own little mark where ever and however they can. I’m sure if I was involved with a major production, I’d try to sneak in an inside joke for my buddies so I can point it out to them later on. That last paragraph is for all of the comments that say this movie has no thought behind it and its all just a lame movie.

    This next paragraph is either going to turn on your conspiracy theorist side or beef up your ‘everyone who thinks like this is stupid’ side. I’d really like to mention that the term ‘conspiracy theorist’ didn’t even come out as a term until the 1950’s and the term was coined by US intelligence reports that were given in press releases…. because people, regular ol’ stupid people, started suspecting corruption in their government… I mean, how stupid can you be to think that the perfect government could ever be corrupt? I honestly believe the government has my best interest at heart at all times and would never do anything to hurt me, scout’s honor. Yeah right, give me a break. You’re the same people that believe David Blaine can hypnotize people, but that the media/government can’t, right? David Blaine can do it by making you look into his eyes for 3 seconds, but the media/government can’t by making you stare at a screen for hours. So, you gotta make a choice here. Either believe people can be manipulated through different forms of media, or they can’t.

    On to the religious… Science is technically a religion. Religion: a pursuit or interest followed with great devotion. an interest, a belief, or an activity that is very important to a person or group. Yes, there are other definitions that denote ‘religion’ as devotion to a god or group of gods. I think the commonly accepted idea of religion is engaging in activities toward a specific entity or object with no quantifiable proof of that entity or object’s existence… which, again, science fits the bill. So, if you’re going to bash Christianity for believing in God, then you better be able to take some heat for believing in Gravity. In the words of Neil Degrasse Tyson after being asked ‘What is Gravity?’ he stated “I don’t know. We can see it’s effects, we can measure it, we can interact with it, but what gravity is, we have no idea.” Also, unless you are a scientist with a degree and a lifelong career in making these particular discoveries and advancements to society, then you have to take a ‘scientist’s’ word for it. In other words, that scene from ‘It’s always Sunny in Philadelphia’ is quite profound.

    Getting a little deeper… Satanism is an active religion. Freemasonry is an active religion. Atheism, Gnosticism, and Agnosticism are all active religions. Yes, Atheism is a religion in the context that you have to believe on faith with absolutely no evidence to prove the non-existence of a god or group of gods. Ufology is an active religion. Mysticism is an active religion. Paganism, Heathenism, and Wicca are all active religions. It’s important to establish the FACT that all of these people have their own forms of proof sufficient for them to continue in their beliefs. Are demons real? I can’t say for sure. Jesus cast them out of people, and even secular accounts don’t dispute this idea. So, maybe everybody made up Jesus… Or maybe everyone accepted that demons were real and an unquestionable thing. Now, demons may be inexplicable phenomena and perhaps unprovable, but human sacrifices to those demons… definitely provable. For all of recorded history provable. In every country on earth provable. Even to this day provable.

    So, getting back to this movie review, we can ascertain at least 4 possible motives behind the creation of The Cabin in the Woods. 1) It’s a clever play on all other horror movies. 2) It’s a metaphor for humanity as viewed from the filmmaker’s point of view. or 3) It’s a movie describing events actually taking place, with artistic license. 4) It’s religious propaganda to get people to believe in the demonic.

    My personal opinion is a mixture of all of those. Wrapping the storyline in the commonly accepted horror movie narrative makes the film easy to follow, predictable and easy to ingest… much like the way Louis C.K. can somehow tell you a joke about raping children, turning men gay, forcing other people to eat his feces etc etc without having you revolt in disgust. Most people that enjoy comedy will actually sit through the entire joke before even thinking that what he is saying is incredibly disgusting. Putting the movie into metaphor form about humanity is also a great way for people to tie themselves to the storyline. It’s that extra layer you have to look for that is so intriguing.

    The next part of my thought process gets a little touchy… But there’s been stories going around for a long time about major entertainment venues being involved with satanic, demonic or occult practices. Many of these stories have ended up with court prosecution. Also, it is notable that over 600,000 children disappear every year. Where do they go? Maybe what Jim Carrey says is true about Hollywood peeps drinking baby blood. Maybe its not. But it is absolutely true that many people in Hollywood have been known to practice Pagan, Satanic, and/or Wiccan rituals. And all of those religions invariably include human and animal sacrifice.

    You can follow the movie from the beginning… The intro is obviously government. A couple of white-shirt, middle aged, white male, American men talking about their lives. Their first interaction is with a woman, who they disrespect and make fun of before continuing on their casual conversation, and then later on doing the same to the new guy, who just happens to be black. The title screen pops up in that familiar horror movie trope with the scream. You get introduced to the victims next. They fit the stereotypical horror movie theme… the jock, the smart guy, the dumb blonde, the typical stoner and the prissy girly girl. And of course, they are set in their roles from their very introduction. The jock showing off his toughness to the ladies, the blonde making offhand, sarcastic and judgmental comments about her friends, the stoner showing up with a smoking bong. You get the tropes right off the bat. There’s no room to question the meaning behind this by the filmmakers: this is a satirical representation of horror movies. What isn’t so easy to see through is the ‘government’ idea. Is it a trope like other movies that name the government as the culprit of some experiment gone wrong? As the movie progresses, you see the elements of almost every horror movie you have ever seen. The monsters… zombies, werewolfs, vampires, ghosts… I mean they even threw the clown from It and a unicorn into the mix. They got everyone. They even give you a detailed reasoning behind why they all have to die in the exact order you have seen every single time you’ve seen a horror film. Including element and references from hundreds of movies spanning several decades is no easy task… but then there’s another aspect that most people missed… the movie is laden with symbology and cryptography, including numerology.

    If you pay attention throughout the movie, you’ll notice the 3’s and the 4’s that are introduced. And the different symbols that are all relevant to the horror movie, and subsequently the religious practice, they are attributed to.

    I guess what my final thought on this whole movie is that nothing ever has truly and simply only a face value. Were there intentions other than entertainment? Well, I suppose we’ll never really know. But know that the elements that this all came from, they came from somewhere. Also know that just because something is labeled as a ‘conspiracy’ doesn’t mean its fake. Also know that it is a well documented idea that people can be influenced effectively through media. Also know that many owners of media productions companies have been either exposed or revealed themselves that they practice occult, satanic, and/or pagan rituals. I honestly can’t say for sure what this movie is, but I can share my opinion that I thought it was a great work, for whatever intention it was created.

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